...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
