I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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