her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
