is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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