Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
