Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
