So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
