you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
