I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
