whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
