whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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