You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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