I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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