Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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