no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize