and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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