just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
