I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
