we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
