He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
