talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
