I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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