Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
