I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
