After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
