Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize