He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just want to make out with him forever
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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