I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Acid is not a monday night drug
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
