just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize