you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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