Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
