im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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