I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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