Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize