you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
