Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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