Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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