Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
