If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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