Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
