nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
