What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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