It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize