Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
