we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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