I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
