You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
