I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
