He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
