I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
