So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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