just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
