Don't you send me to vm
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
