Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
