on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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