This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
