I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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