Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize