if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
