Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
