What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
