I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
