just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Panties = found
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
