I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Drunk is not a location!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
