They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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